"The Moon and Sixpence is the worst book ever written. It is the Dust in the Wind of books. I keep a copy on hand just in case I run out of toilet paper. I’m afraid, though, if it came to that, that it would make my butt itch.
The Moon and Sixpence is so bad that it won’t burn. It just smolders, releasing a thick sulfurous smoke. Then it slinks back to its hole.
Where it sucks the life out of eggs it has stolen from cute little song birds and platypodes.”